Pride and Prejudice and John Ross!
by fuzzyduck 123
Summary: Pamela loves Pride and Prejudice she want John Ross to love it to, it takes years but he finally reads it, well sort of


**DISCLAIMER****:** The two main characters belong to Dallas. P&P characters are Jane Austen's. The other book is by Seth Grahame-Smith.

**_Pride and Prejudice and John Ross!_**

"What'chu readin', darlin?" John Ross asked his wife as he entered the spacious Southfork lounge. As he saw her sitting in an armchair, reading in the mid-morning sun.  
"_Pride and Prejudice_," Pamela replied, leaning up to kiss her husband as he leaned down to meet her.  
John Ross broke from the kiss, his face displaying a confused frown.  
"Oh come on you must have heard of it, it's a classic…one of my all-time favorites. I must have read it like a dozen times."  
"What's it about?" he asked, trying his best to sound enthusiastic, he was never really one for reading books. He sat down on the arm of the seat slightly behind her and wrapping himself around her.  
She snuggled back into his chest, enjoying the feeling of being close to him; it made her feel safe, secure, happy, and above all else, really and truly loved.  
"It's about two people who appear to hate each other, but end up falling madly in love."  
"Like _that_ would ever happen," John Ross joked, leaning in and kissing the nape of her neck. She trembled with desire as he kissed her.  
"Yer I know right," Pamela replied teasingly, stifling a moan, "That sort of thing would _never_ happen. You know, it's a wonderful book, you might enjoy it."  
"Actually darlin, I've got a better idea," he said in a low, husky voice.  
John Ross hands began to wander and his kisses increased in both number and intensity. Pamela turned around and captured his lips, dropping the book and forgetting about _Pride and Prejudice_ in favor of other more desirable activities.

**_One year later  
_**  
"What's this?" John Ross asked, plopping down on the couch next to his very pregnant wife. After planting a kiss on her lips, he put his arm around her and she instinctively snuggled up to him. Wanting to be as close to him as possible, Pamela draped the maroon afghan – a housewarming gift from Sue Ellen – that covered her lap across John Ross's legs as well, sharing the warmth.  
"'Pride and Prejudice'," Pamela explained, keeping her eyes on the television in front of them and the movie that was playing on it, "I was out shopping and decided to buy it. You should watch it with me, since you won't read the book."  
"Where's the popcorn?" John Ross asked. He noticed that the coffee table in front of them held a cup of tea and a box of tissues, but no bowl of what he considered absolutely essential for movie watching.  
"It's not a really a _'popcorn movie', _John Ross " Pamela sighed in slight exasperation, "Now hush."  
"Ok, darlin" John Ross replied, rolling his eyes. This was stupid he thought _all_ movies are _popcorn _movies.

They watched the screen in silence for a while before John Ross spoke up again.  
"That chick looks familiar," John Ross said in a whisper, as if trying to not disrupt the movie.  
"Keira Knightley," Pamela whispered back.  
"oh year she played the hot posh girl in that pirate movie," John Ross said, idly playing with his wife's reddish brown hair. Pamela turned suddenly displaying her signature death glare that he knew was most likely generated by her elevated hormones. "But obviously she isn't anywhere near as hot as you darlin", he said giving her his best puppy dog eyes.  
"So, is she the pride, or the prejudice?" he asked trying to change the subject as quickly as he could. She giggled at the silliness of the question, "Actually, she and Mr. Darcy _both_ suffer from pride and prejudice."  
"Oh," he said, sounding disappointed, the concept of this movie was already going over his head.

She snuggled up and rested her head on his shoulder. They grew quiet again as they cuddled and watched the move and John Ross rubbed his hand in hypnotic circles over her bulging tummy. Pamela had almost fallen asleep when John Ross sat up and said loudly.  
"This movie's not as good as the pirate one, darlin, why don't we head upstairs…" his hands roamed her body, doing his best to distract her from the movie.  
"John Ross …" she moaned, about to give in to her husband's desires when she felt a sharp pain, "John Ross!"  
"What, Pammy?" he said, sucking on her neck until he was sure he'd left a mark.  
"My water just broke!"

_**Two years later**__  
_  
Pamela came into the lounge and found their son John Ross IV, or Jack as they had taken to calling him, happily playing with some building blocks while John Ross lounged on the couch reading a book.  
Pamela had to do a double-take because she had never seen John Ross read anything non-work related.  
"What are you reading, John Ross?" Pamela asked, leaning over the back of the couch and looking down at her husband. He smiled up at her, and she felt her heart melt as it always did when he smiled at her like that.

"Would you believe _Pride and Prejudice_?" John Ross asked, giving her a look that made her unable to tell if he was joking or not.  
"I've been trying to get you to read that book for years!" she exclaimed incredulously, "I seem to recall your last response on the subject was 'The movie sucked, so why should I bother reading the book?'."  
"I know, Pammy," he said, nodding, "But when I was out with Chris helping him search for Elena's birthday gift, I saw this and he said it was good so figured I'd give it a shot."  
"Unbelievable," Pamela said, shaking her head, "years of me nagging you to read it, and all it takes is a shopping trip with Christopher."  
"Well say what you want about Chris, but the man does have good taste," John Ross replied cheekily.  
Pamela stuck out her tongue at him and he returned the gesture, making them both laugh. He then grabbed his wife's hand and kissed her palm. " I Love you, darlin."  
"Love you too, darlin," she replied, leaning over as far as she could and planting a chaste kiss on his lips.  
"Momma! Momma play!" Jack called from the other side of the couch where he was waving wooden blocks in Pamela's direction.  
"Alright, sweetie, give Mommy a moment," Pamela sighed, settling on the floor with her back against the couch. This allowed John Ross to play with her hair while he read his book.

Pamela settled into playing blocks with Jack and John Ross continued to read, and the sound of Jack's squeals, Pamela 's gentle laughter, and the sound of wooden block knocking together filled the room.  
"Darlin, ninjas are Japanese assassins right?" John Ross asked half-an-hour later.  
Pamela was engrossed in building a large tower of blocks, much to Jack's glee, and was barely paying attention to what John Ross had asked.  
"Uhm… yer," Pamela said absentmindedly.  
The tower of blocks toppled over and Jack's squeals of laughter and clapping hands indicated that he liked watching the blocks fall over even more than he liked watching them getting stacked up.

"Muskets, there like old-fashioned guns, right?" John Ross asked several minutes later.  
"Yes," Pamela nodded as she once again began stacking the blocks; this time as Jack attempted to help. "Why are you asking me all these questions?" she asked, looking up at him with a quizzical expression, "I thought you were reading _Pride and Prejudice_."  
"I am," he nodded, " You know the movie nowhere near as good as this."  
"Well…of course not," Pamela said, "Movies from books never are, they leave things out and change things around."  
"Yeah, I know what you mean," John Ross nodded, "The movie totally left out the part where Charlotte became a zombie, and the part where Elizabeth and Lady Catherine fought with katana swords in the Bennet family's dojo."  
"Well…wait…_what_?!"  
"I mean, I can understand them leaving out the part where Elizabeth killed Lady Catherine's ninjas and ripped the one bloke's heart out and took a bite while it was still beating…that was a bit disgusting."  
"John Ross…what the hell are you talking about?!" Pamela exclaimed.

"Hell!" Jack squealed. "Hell! Hell!"  
"Nice going Pamela " John Ross smirked. She had spent months going on at him about what he should and shouldn't say in front or their son. For her to be the one to slip up in front of their child was completely shocking…and amusing, though John Ross knew better that to laugh about it.

For her part, Pamela looked completely appalled at what she'd said, especially as Jack seemed to want to say nothing else now as he sat on the floor, banging two wooden blocks together calling out "Hell" over and over in a sing-song voice.  
"See what you did?" Pamela snapped, looking at her husband.  
"What I did?" John Ross replied quizzically, "You're the one who said it!"  
"You know," he sighed, "If we don't make a big deal of it, he'll get tired of saying it and forget all about it."  
"How can I not make a big deal of it, John Ross? What if he says it in front of our moms?" she asked frantically.  
"Well, I'm sure our mom's will just, hide a smirk and go off to the kitchen. To bad my daddy's not hear, he'd find it hilarious!"  
"John Ross!"  
"What? you're already blaming me, so just tell them it's _my fault_."  
"It _is_ your fault!" she assured him, "You and that stupid book! I thought you said you were reading _Pride and Prejudice_!"

"I am…see?" he said, showing her the book and for the first time letting her see the title…the _full_ title.  
"_Pride and Prejudice and…_what?!" she exclaimed as she read the title.  
"_And Zombies_," he said with a smile, "It really isn't bad once you get used to the way they talk in that old-fashioned sort of way."  
"_Pride and Prejudice and Zombies_…" Pamela repeated again, unable to believe her eyes, "How…why…what…?"  
"Its awesome," John Ross said, grinning broadly, "I just got to the part where Darcy and Elizabeth are walking along and they find a bunch of zombies in the garden eating cauliflower they mistake for brains…and they finally get to fight together for the first time."  
"…" Pamela was completely speechless.

"Y'know, darlin, if they added zombies to all those stuffy old books you love so much, I don't think I'd mind reading them. Zombies can really spice up boring old _literature_."


End file.
